


AWOL

by Fuzzypurplestuff



Series: Shine Bright the Lights [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, X-Factor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-16 18:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1358329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuzzypurplestuff/pseuds/Fuzzypurplestuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was the real reason Louis disappeared during the X-Factor?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Going Over the Wall

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my wonderful Beta Daysundercover for making it readable.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [Fuzzypurplestuff](http://fuzzypurplestuff.tumblr.com/)

They were going to kill him. Well maybe not kill, but he was going to be in it deep once they found out he was gone. Maybe he should have told someone, at least one of the boys. He couldn’t tell Liam ‘cause he would have had a hissy fit and told someone before Louis even managed to make it out the door. Harry would have worried so much both about the leaving and about why Louis felt he had to go home in the first place that he probably would have changed his mind. Probably should have told Niall or Zayn, they would have been worried but they wouldn’t have tried to make him stay. He pulled out his mobile and fiddled with it for a moment before putting it back in his pocket. Better the boys stay in the dark, they can’t get in trouble for what they don’t know. 

Louis sighed and leaned his head against the window of the train. This was a really bad idea for so many, many reasons, but there was something wrong and he needed to know what it was. It had been days since Hannah had returned his calls. Ever since he had been in London, he and Hannah had spoken almost daily. She always had all the gossip from home and was his own personal cheering section when he started to doubt whether he had what it took and wasn’t just dead weight. His mum didn’t know what was going on with Hannah and Stan got all weird when Louis asked him about it. 

So here he was on a train headed back to Doncaster, the last place he wanted to go, to try to figure out why his girlfriend wouldn’t talk to him. Hoping for the best but fearing the worst.

Two hours later he was standing on the platform trying to decide whether he should just get right back on the train when he heard his name being called, “Louis!” He turned around just in time to catch him mum. 

He hugged her tight. “Thanks for coming to get me, Mum. Sorry to mess up your day off”

“It’s okay, baby.” She smoothed his hair fussily. “I am a little worried about why you’re here though.”

“I know.” They headed for the car park. “But I have to find out what’s going on with her.”

Jay sighed. “It could just be that she’s busy. She has a full time job, Lou.”

Louis took the keys from his mum and got behind the wheel. “I know she’s busy, and I know she works hard, but she hasn’t answered a call, texted or tweeted or anything in days. That’s not like her.”

Jay reached across the consol to pat his knee. “I’m sure you’re just overreacting, baby. Things are so tense for you right now, everything has to seem a bit bigger than it actually is.”

Louis gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter. “I hope you’re right. I really do.”

The house was quiet when they got there, all four of Louis’ sisters were still in school that early in the afternoon. “Let me make you a cup of tea.” Jay put the kettle on to boil. “You can relax for a bit and we can have a nice visit. Hannah won’t be off work for at least another hour.”

Louis looked at the clock above the door, the same clock that had hung there as long as he could remember. “Yeah, thanks, tea would be lovely.”

“Good, then you can stay and see your sisters as well.”

“Mum-“

“No, Louis, your sisters miss you. They will be home before Hannah, you can stay long enough to say hello.”

Louis sighed and slumped back into his seat. “Fine, I’ll say hi, but I’m not staying long, I’ve got to see Hannah.”

Jay placed a steaming cup n front of him, then pressed a kiss to his cheek. “That’s my boo.”

Louis shot her a glare but knew it was futile to object to the name.

Half an hour later, chaos in the front hall announced the arrival of his four younger sisters. “Mummy, Fizzy won’t let me-“ Phoebe skidded to a stop as she entered the kitchen. “Louis!” she shrieked and threw herself at her big brother.

Louis squeezed her until she squeaked then settled her on his knee as the other three rushed into the room to greet him. The familiarity of the noise level and cuddles from his sisters actually helped to calm his nerves. When things had finally quieted a bit Lottie asked, ”Why are you here, Lou, shouldn’t you be in London?”

Louis rubbed the back of his neck and avoided his sisters gaze, “Uh, yeah, I, uh just had to come home to take care of a few things.”

“What things?” 

Jay clapped her hands. “That’s enough, let Louis breathe. You girls go on up and change.” She ushered them out. She turned back to find Louis shrugging his jacket on. “Already?”

He smiled sadly. “Sorry, Mum, I gotta know.”

She fixed the collar of his coat and patted him on the chest. “I know, baby, it’s just so hard. I miss my boy.”

Louis hugged her tight. “I miss you too.” Louis kissed her on the cheek. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back.” He grabbed the keys from the hook at the front door, then turned back to his mum. “If someone from the show calls, just tell them I’m not here but that I’m okay and will be back.” With that he left.

 

Louis pulled up outside Hannah’s house but was having hard time talking himself into going in. All the way there it had seemed like a good idea. Now that he was there it was just scary. What if she wanted to break up with him? What if she had found someone else? It was hard being apart, they had spent pretty much every moment together before he had gone to his audition. Then the last six months he’d been all about the X-Factor, spending time during the summer with the boys at Harry’s place, then to Spain, then more time with Harry, now down in London. Maybe she was sick of not having a boyfriend who could be there for her. Sure she was down every weekend for the show, but. . . Louis gave his head a shake, there was only one way to find out.

He rang the bell and held his breath. When Hannah opened the door he grinned bright and wide, “Hello, love.”

Hannah gasped. “Louis?” She pulled him into the house. “What are you doing here?”

Louis felt as though his worst fears had been confirmed. “What, no hug?”

Hannah’s laugh was slightly nervous. “Of course,” she stepped into his arms, “I was just surprised is all.” She hugged him tight, then stepped back. “Why are you here, Louis, what’s wrong?” She led him into the sitting room, sat on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her.

“I had to come, I’m probably going to get thrown off the show but– “ Louis paced to the window and back. “What’s going on Han?”

“What do you mean? Why would they throw you off the show”

“I didn’t exactly tell anyone I was leaving.”

“What? Are you crazy?”

“Maybe, but I had to know what’s going on?”

Hannah fidgeted with her hands. “What do you mean?”

Louis waved his arms, “This, I mean this. Last week you would’ve been all over me. Telling me how much you missed me.” Louis looked her right in the eye. “Have you found someone else?”

Hannah’s mouth opened and closed a few times. Then she stood and left the room.

Louis sighed, it seemed he hadn’t been paranoid after all.

Hannah marched back into the room carrying her laptop. “Sit!” She pointed at the sofa.

Louis swallowed hard. “If there’s someone else just tell me. I kinda get it. I haven’t been here and all of this is a bit much, I just wish you’d told me instead of avoiding me.” 

“I. Said. Sit.” Hannah snapped as she pointed at the sofa again.

“Just tell me!” Louis shouted. “God, just get it over with, okay!” His voice caught at the end and he felt his hands starting to shake and the last thing he wanted to do was break down in front of the girl who cheated on him.

Hannah’s voice softened. “I haven’t found someone else.” She once again indicated the sofa. “But there is something I want to show you.”

Louis took a deep breath, okay, not cheating was good, but there was obviously still something wrong.

“Louis, sit down.”

“Hannah–“

“Lou, please, this isn’t easy for me.” 

For the first time since his arrival Louis looked closely at Hannah. Her face looked drawn and it was clear she hadn’t been sleeping. “Oh shit, you’re sick aren’t you. Fuck, I’ve been acting like a total shit and you’re--“ 

“Louis! Stop, I’m not sick. There’s nothing wrong with me physically. I just really didn’t want to do this over the phone or computer or whatever. Just sit down and let me explain!”

Louis finally dropped into the seat beside her. 

“Good. Now there’s something you need to watch.” Hannah woke the laptop and opened a Youtube page.

Louis was a little shocked. “Uh, Han? I’ve seen this, I’m in this.”

She shot him a flat look. “Just watch.”

Louis sighed and flopped back in his seat. He waved his hand in a ‘get on with it’ gesture.

Hannah hit play and One Direction’s week four video diary began to play. When the short clip was finished she turned to Louis. “Do you see my problem?”

“Uh, no?” He looked at the laptop then back at Hannah. “I haven’t got a clue what you’re on about.”

“Would you like me to play it again, or maybe the one from last week ‘cause actually it’s even better than this one.” She reached for the computer again.

Louis grabbed her hand. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

Hannah shrugged him off then turned to look at him. She searched his face. “You really have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

Louis shook his head, “No.” He took her hand. “What’s going on? Why the video diaries, I don’t get it?”

Hannah got up from the sofa and walked to stare out the window. “I really didn’t want to believe it.” 

“Han–“

She raised a hand, “No, Louis, I need to say this.”

Louis sat back down, he could see now that she was close to tears.

“Like I said, I didn’t want to believe it at first. Over the summer when I first noticed it, I kinda just figured I was imagining things, after all you were going through a huge deal with getting the band together and finding out about the live shows.” Her voice turned bitter. “But then you moved to London and things got even worse. It was everywhere, Louis! Every time we talked, on the video diaries, I even saw it for myself when I’d come down on the weekends.” 

Louis stood and went to her, “I still don’t know what you’re talking about, have I said something wrong, I just- I don’t get it?”

Hannah turned to face him and took his hands in hers. "You’re in love with Harry.”


	2. Under Siege

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannah forces Louis to face the truth.

Louis lost all colour in his face and snatched his hands away taking a step back. “What?” He snorted. “Is this some sort of joke.” He backed further away.

“It’s not a joke, Louis.” She reached for him again but he avoided her and moved to the other side of the room.

“I am not in love with Harry Styles. Jesus, Hannah, I make a friend to go through all this with and you think I’m in cheating on you with him!”

“I didn’t say I thought you were cheating, I said you’re in love with him.” She once again sat on the couch and invited him to join her, she was ignored. “I thought I was imagining things at first, the amount of time you wanted to spend with him this summer–“

“We were rehearsing!” Louis’ exclaimed.

Hannah continued as though she had never been interrupted. “I chalked that up to the group being new and you guys needing to get to know each other and practice for judges houses. Then you got back from Spain and the first thing you wanted to do was go see Harry. All I heard about was what Harry said or did. How much fun you had in Spain, all the things you guys did together.”

“We. Are. Friends.” Louis interrupted defensively. 

“Then you went off to London and it got worse. I’d call or text or Skype you and if he wasn’t right there he was all you talked about, sure you mentioned the other boys or Aiden occasionally but most of the time it was Harry, Harry, Harry. Hell, even Stan must have noticed something, because when I hinted to him about it he got all. . . evasive.” Hannah sighed, then asked with quiet resignation. “But you know what solidified it for me Lou?”

“Hannah I’m not–”

“It was when I came down to see you. Sure you were happy to see me, I got hugs and kisses, right up until Harry was in the room. Then all of a sudden you sat further away, you didn’t hold my hand unless I reached for yours and then you managed to let got right quick. You saw me once a week and still all you talked about when we were alone was Harry.”

“It’s really not like that.” Louis voice took on a plaintive quality. “We really are just friends. I’m not gay, Han, you know that.”

She smiled at him gently. “Are you sure? Are you going to tell me you’re not attracted to Harry at all, that you’ve never felt anything with all the cuddling and touching you two do?”

“I touch and cuddle everyone, that’s just what I’m like! You know that! You always say that’s one of the things you love about me!”

“Yes, you are very touchy and cuddly, but, you are different with the others than you are with him.”

“He’s my best friend!”

Hannah sighed. “You touch and cuddle Harry the way you used to touch and cuddle me.”

“Hardly.” Louis ran a shaking hand through his hair. “Harry is touchy too, maybe because it’s two people who–”

“I notice you never answered my question. Lou.”

“What?”

“You didn’t answer my question. Have you ever felt anything when you’re cuddling or playing with him?”

“I–” Louis turned away. “That doesn’t mean anything. He’s touchy, even touchier than I am to be honest. He likes it when we play with his hair and stuff. The other boys do it too!”

“Still not an answer.” She moved closer and ran her hand up his back gently. “Louis.”

He shook her off and moved away. “No! You’re wrong.” He wrapped his arms around himself and hunched his shoulders. “Harry is a really good friend. He knows what I’m going through with all this. He’s just– that’s just what he’s like, he’s affectionate, everybody loves him you can’t help it. You like him too!” By the time he was finished he had almost completely folded in on himself.

Hannah approached him slowly. “I do, Harry is lovely. He really is. But Lou, you still didn’t answer my question.” She reached out for him. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, we can’t help who we love. And like I said Harry is lovely and he cares so much for you too.”

"Stop!” Louis begged. “Please, just stop.”

Hannah pried one hand from around his body. “Love, come on,” He tried to pull away, “No, Louis, c’mon, sit, please.” 

Louis let her lead him to the sofa once sat Hannah took both his hands and held them in her lap. “Why would it be such a bad thing to be in love with Harry?”

Louis looked up startled. “How can you of all people ask me that?”

Hannah shrugged. “I’m not sure. I guess I see what I see. It would probably be different if I thought you had cheated on me, but. . . “

“You’re my girlfriend.”

“I am aware.”

“Why are you trying to convince me I’m gay?”

“Oh, Love, I’m not trying to convince you you’re anything.”

“But you think I’m in love with Harry!” 

“Yeah, I do.”

“But I–“

“Look, Lou, I have no idea if you’re gay, bi or maybe it's just him. But the one thing I am sure of, is that you have much more than friendly feelings for Harry Styles.”

Hannah watched Louis carefully. She could see the battle going as he tried to come to terms with what she had said and what he was feeling.

Finally, Louis took a deep shuddering breath, then seemed to deflate before her eyes. “It’s not just him.” He admitted quietly looking down at their hands

“I’m sorry?”

“Harry, he’s not the first guy I’ve erm, been attracted to.”

“Oh.” She started to pull her hands away.

Louis tightened his grip. “I just, I don’t– I just wanted– I guess I just needed to be like all the other guys, normal, ya know?”

“Okay. That’s– I guess I understand that.” Hannah cleared her throat. “And what about Harry?”

“What about him? Look I know you think I’m madly in love with him or whatever,” Louis waved his hand dismissively. “But even if I was, it wouldn’t matter, Harry is as straight as they come. He always has girls all over him.”

Hannah snorted, “Uh, no.” 

“Uh, Yes!” Louis snapped sulkily. “There are always girls around him. The fans, the dancers, some of the girls from the staff even”

“Fine, I’ll give you that the girls are around him, but, does he ever show any interest in them, at all?”

“He’s concentrating on being on the show right now, he doesn’t have time.”

“Ah, I see, and what about Liam and that pretty dancer, what’s her name, Danielle? Or Zayn and who ever he’s hooking up with this week? Are they not concentrating on the show?”

“Of course they are but-“

“Louis, I know what I’ve seen. Have you ever noticed that Harry seems to love everyone–”

“He does, but that’s Harry!” Louis interrupted.

“-but me.” she continued.

“What? Of course he likes you!”

Hannah laughed. “Oh, sweetie, he really doesn’t. He’s polite, but I’m pretty sure he’d be polite to the devil himself, that’s just ingrained in him. But he does not like me. At all. Haven’t you noticed how he almost always leaves the room when I’m around. Or if he can’t, he distances himself as much as he can. Not to mention the glares.”

“Glares? Harry never glares at anyone. He’s too sw–“ Louis stuttered to a stop.

“He’s too what, Lou? And yes, glares. In fact he glares at anyone who gets too close to you. Last weekend I was sure poor Aiden was going to burst into flames.”

“Now you’re just exaggerating.” Louis scoffed.

“No, I’m not. Listen, this isn’t exactly an easy conversation for me. We’ve been together for a long time and now here I am telling my boyfriend he’s in love with another guy. A really great, sweet, lovely, guy who looks at him like he hung the moon.” She reached out and cupped his cheek. “And for all that you’ve been a really great boyfriend, you’ve never looked at me the way you look at him.” She took a deep breath. “And that hurts, yes, but I love you, you were my friend before you were my boyfriend and I really want you to be happy.”

Louis’ hands started to shake violently. “I- I-“

“C’mere.” Hannah pulled him into her arms. 

“I can’t” he whispered into her shoulder.

“Why not?” She rubbed his back gently. “You’re allowed to fall in love.”

“No, I’m not, not with Harry.”

“Louis, it doesn’t matter if he’s a boy, you love who you love.”

He sat back and tried to wipe his eyes discretely. “It’s not that. We can’t be together. There’s rules.”

“Phhffft. I’ve seen how everyone follows those rules. Liam isn’t supposed to be chasing that dancer, and Zayn has been a very busy boy, even Niall with that make up assistant.”

“Yeah, and those are all girls, you really think they’re gonna look the other way for two guys, especially Harry?”

“What does that mean? What’s so special about Harry?”

“Every time we go anywhere the fans go crazy for him and the people at the show know it. He gets the most fan mail out of everyone. They’ve already started with the ‘girls just love Harry’ stuff. If they think we have a thing they’ll probably throw me out of the group or something.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. They’re not going to throw you out of the group.”

“They might, my voice isn’t as strong as the other boy’s and-“

“Now you’re just being an idiot. I love your voice and they need it to make them sound right, they even said so. But if you don’t want them to know you’re together, don’t tell them.” 

“But if you and I break up–“

“No ifs about it, babe.”

“Yeah, but if I don’t have a girlfriend and other people see what you could see, they’re going to know.” He shook his head. “I can’t say anything to him, if he feels the way you say he does, it would be to hard. Knowing how we feel and not being able to be together.”

Hannah smiled sadly. “So you admit it, finally.”

Louis was instantly contrite. “Shit, Han, I’m sorry.”

She waved him off. “Don’t, I just spent the last half hour trying to get you to say it, so it’s my own fault.” She stood and waved toward the kitchen, “I’m just going to. . . Um tea“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thank you to my beta Daysundercover, without her this would be unreadable.


	3. Waving the White Flag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Hannah decide what to do.

Louis watched her leave the room. She was the most amazing girl he knew. Who else would have done what she did today. He reckoned most girls would have thrown something at his head if they thought their boyfriend fancied another guy. There was nothing for it though, not while they were on the show. Shit, the show! Louis pulled out his phone, and checked his messages; well they knew he was gone. There were eleven messages from producers, four from Liam, three from Zayn, five from Niall, and twenty-six from Harry. He selected Harry’s last one from the list. 

“Just let me know you’re okay, that’s all I care about. Please just be okay.” He sounded like he’d been crying. Shit.

He selected Zayn’s last message. ”You better call soon you dick, everyone here is losing it, they’ve called the police. Harry’s falling apart, at least call him. Call!” Double shit. 

He quickly selected Harry’s number from his contacts list. 

Harry answered on the first ring. “Louis?”

“Hey.”

“Where are you? Are you okay? Did something happen?” He took a shuddering breath.

“S’alright, Haz, I’m fine.”

“You’re sure? I mean is everything okay, if you need me to–“

“Harry, I’m okay, I promise, I just had to come home.”

“But you’re okay?”

Louis had to smile, all Harry cared about was his well being, that felt good. “Yeah, I’m okay. Can you just tell everyone I’ll be back tomorrow and they can call off the dogs?”

“I–“ Harry cleared his throat. “Yeah, Lou, I can do that,” He said softly.

“Are you okay?” Louis asked.

“I am now.”

“I’m sorry I just took off like that. I should have told someone.”

“You should have told me! I was so scared something had happened to you!” Harry’s voice broke slightly.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Harry, I know, I should have told you. I just didn’t think.”

“Okay.” He cleared his throat again, something Louis knew meant he was either nervous or upset. “As long as you’re okay, we’re good.”

“Thanks. I know I was a right git for doing this so thanks for not being too mad.”

“I was too scared to be mad. I might be furious when you get back though, just to warn you.”

That open honesty hit Louis right in the heart. “Well, I guess I deserve it if you are.”

Harry laughed, “Yeah you do you git.”

Louis could hear Hannah returning. “I gotta go, I’ll be back tomorrow morning, yeah?”

“Kay, I’ll let them know.” another little cough, “Lou?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you.” With that Harry hung up.

Louis was still staring at his phone when Hannah reentered the room. “Was that Harry?”

“What?”

“On the phone, was that Harry?”

“What make you think-“

She shrugs, “You have your Harry face on is all.” She hands him a cup of tea prepared just the way he liked it.

“I have a Harry face?”

“Yes. You have a Harry face. “ She sat next to him. “What did he say, is he mad at you for taking off?”

“Uh, no, he’s just happy I’m okay. Apparently they called the police.”

“I can’t believe you just left.” She shook her head. “What else did he have to say?”

“That’s about it really, he was happy I was fine and he um, he said he missed me.” 

“Of course he did.” Hannah took a sip of her tea, then a deep breath. “I have an idea.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I don’t think you should tell them we broke up.”

Louis almost choked on his tea. “What? Why, and who’s them?”

“The people from the show, producers and such.”

“Again, why?”

“If they think you still have a girlfriend, they won’t care about you and Harry.”

“But why would you do that? I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not. Look, you are one of my favourite people. I love you first and foremost as a friend. I hate that you thought you had to pretend to be something you’re not in order to be as you called it normal. I hate that you felt that being attracted to boys made you not normal. This most likely won’t be easy, but to me it’s the right thing to do. It’s not like we even live in the same town right now. I don’t really have to see you that much except for the occasional weekend visit.”

“Hannah.”

“I’ve made up my mind. We will stay together as far as everyone else is concerned. Once the show is done, and you guys get super famous, we break up, saying it was too hard or some such.”

“That’s hardly fair to you.” Louis protested.

“Let me decide what’s fair to me. You deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.” He took her hand. “This isn’t right, what if you meet someone?”

“Somehow I don’t think I’m going to be ready to date right away.” Hannah whispered, looking down at her hands.

“See, that’s what I mean. I’ve hurt you. You shouldn’t have to do this.”

“And again, I don’t, but I am. Look, I’m not going to be looking for anyone anytime soon. If we break up now it will look like you dumped me when you started to get famous. Or people will start taking an even closer look at you and Harry. Neither of those things is good. So, we stay together, and you and Harry get to work on you and Harry.”

“And what do you get out of this.”

Hannah just shrugged. “I get to do something for someone I love.”

“Shit, Han.”

“Shut up. We are doing this.’

“We may not even need to.”

“And what does that mean”

Louis looked down at his hands. “Harry may not feel the same way.”

“That is quite literally the last thing on my list of worries, right behind zombie apocalypse and being trampled by dinosaurs.”

Louis barked out a laugh, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yes, well, it’s part of my appeal.”

He knew she found solace in humour same as he did. “It really is.”

“So we agree that Harry not reciprocating is less likely than an alien invasion?”

“I thought you said zombie apocalypse.”

“It’s a long list. Are we agreed.”

“It still feels wrong.” Louis hedged.

“Okay lets do it this way then. You owe me.”

“What?”

“You owe me. You fell in love, with a boy, who is prettier than me, and broke my heart. You owe me.” Hannah crossed her arms and stared at him.

“But-“

“You don’t think you owe me?”

“Well, I wouldn’t even know I was in love with him if you hadn’t pointed it out.” Louis teased.

Hannah winced. 

Louis was instantly contrite. “Shit, Han, I’m sorry I just-, you know me and banter.”

Hannah took a deep breath. “I do know, apology accepted.” She stood. “But I think I need you to go now.”

“Han-“

“Please, Louis, it was one thing to think it, and another to actually hear you say it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Hannah’s smile was forced. “But we are still going ahead with my plan.”

“I know. I do owe you. So much more than this.”

“Yes, well one day I may actually collect, when you guys have won and are rich and famous, you can buy me a house or summit.”

Louis laughed. “Deal.” He stepped closer to her. “Can I hug you?”

Hannah wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, “Of course you can you idiot.” 

“You might be the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” Louis whispered into her hair. He felt her breath hitch and just held her tighter.

After a few minutes Hannah pulled away, her eyes still moist. “Okay, go way now.”

Louis kissed her cheek. “Yes ma’am.”

“I’ll see you this weekend.”

“Are you sure?”

“Go away, Louis.”

“Going.” He opened the front door and turned back to her. “Han?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you, for all of it, not just what’s going to happen next but for today, for everything. You’re the best.”

“I know, now go. Please.”

“Bye.” Louis pulled the door closed behind him and headed for the car. Once in the drivers seat he looked back at the house. He could see Hannah standing there watching him. He could also see her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta Daysundercover


	4. In the Trenches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis tells his parent about his conversation with Hannah.

When Louis pulled into the drive at home he was relieved to see his dad’s car there. He would only have to have this conversation once.

“Louis’ back!” The twins cried in unison as he entered the kitchen.

“I can see that.” Jay gave him a hug. “You alright, love?” 

“I need to talk to you and Dad.”

Jay’s hand flew to her mouth. “Please tell me you didn’t get Hannah-“

“Mum, no, Jesus. Hannah’s not- you know. I just need to talk to you and Dad about something. The girls can’t hear this.”

“Okay, good, Okay.” Jays breathing returned to normal. “Dad’s in the lounge helping Lottie with her homework. From the volume of the telly I’d say they were done. You go on in and send Lottie back here.”

Louis walked into the lounge to find his sister and father fighting over the remote control. “Lotts, Mum wants you in the kitchen.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, just go.”

Lottie stuck her tongue out at him an stomped out of the room.

“Hey, Dad.”

Mark stood to embrace his son. “Mum said you were here. Is everything okay? She said you thought there was a problem with Hannah?”

“Yeah, I– can we wait till Mum get here? I wanna talk to both of you at the same time. And before you panic Hannah isn’t pregnant.”

“Why would I think– Mum?”

“Mum.”

Both Tomlinson men laughed and took a seat. Mark on the sofa and Louis in the armchair, leaving the space next to his dad for his mum.

When Jay joined them Louis asked, “Where are the girls?”

“Upstairs. Now tell me what this is all about.” She looked at him carefully. “What happened with Hannah.”

Louis took a deep breath. “We broke up.”

“What? Why? Are you okay? What Happened?”

“Let the boy answer, Jay.” Mark soothed.

“She broke up with me. There’s someone else.”

Jay gasped. “She cheated on you! That little-“

“Mum, no!” Louis interrupted before she could say something she would regret. “She didn’t cheat. And it’s not her who found someone else.”

“I don’t understand.” Jay looked up at Mark. “Do you know what he’s talking about?”

“I know less than you do. I wasn’t here this afternoon.” Mark turned to Louis. “Why don’t you explain, son.”

“Yeah. It’s not Hannah who found someone. It’s me.” He held up his hand when his mother started to speak. “The reason she’s been avoiding me was because she saw I was falling for someone and didn’t want to talk about it on the phone.”

“Is it one of the girls from the show? It’s not Cher is it?”

“No, Mum, it isn’t Cher, and it’s not one of the other girls on the show.” Louis took a deep fortifying breath. “It’s Harry.”

Both his parents just stared at him for a moment. Then his mum finally spoke. “Harry? Our Harry?”

Louis had to smile at the possessive tone. “Yeah, our Harry.”

“I don’t– I didn’t know– um” Jay turned to her husband.

“Were you unfaithful to Hannah.” Mark asked. 

“No! No, of course not!”

“Does Harry know how you feel?”

“No, not yet.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yeah, Dad, I think I do.” Louis felt his chest tighten at the admission.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” 

“Good?” Louis asked hopefully.

“Yes, good.”

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused.” His mum finally spoke. “You’re in love with Harry?”

“Yes, Mum. I’m in love with Harry.” Finally saying it out loud like that felt kind of amazing but her reaction was beginning to make Louis a bit nervous.

“But he’s a boy.”

“Yeah.” Louis wasn’t sure what he would do if his mum didn’t approve. “Is that a problem?”

Jay shook her head, “No, of course not. Harry’s lovely, we love him you know that. I just didn’t know you like boys. Why didn’t I know you like boys?” She turned to Mark. “I should have known he likes boys!”

Mark just patted her hand, “Settle down, let Louis explain.”

Jay nodded. “Go on, baby,”

Louis told his parents about his conversation with Hannah, concluding with. “I knew I thought other guys were hot, but I kinda just ignored it, ya know. But I never had real feelings for a guy before, just, crushes, I guess? Harry, he’s just different. I’ve never felt a connection with anyone like this. We just, I don’t know, he just gets me.“

Jay moved to sit on the arm of his chair and ran her hand through his hair. “He’s quite wonderful, you have good taste in boys.”

Louis could feel his eyes filling. “So you’re not mad?” 

Jay wrapped her arms around him and hugged him as tight as she could. “Oh, baby, no. Why would I be mad? You’re exactly the same sweet, smart, amazing, boy you were an hour ago.” 

Louis looked over at Mark. “Dad?”

“You are my son, I love you and there is not a single thing in this world that will or can change that, do you understand me?” Mark answered vehemently, standing up. “Now, come here.”

Louis went to his dad and Mark pulled him close. “Thanks, Dad.”

Mark dropped a kiss to the top of Louis’ head then stepped back, his hands still on Louis shoulders. “So, when are you going to tell him?”

Louis shrugged. “I don’t know. Hannah thinks he feels the same but,” another shrug.

Jay laughed softly, “Oh, Boo, he really doesn’t hide it very well.”

“What!” Louis spun round to face his mum. “What are– you think– MUM! Why didn’t you say something?”

“I was worried.” Jay soothed.

“I don’t get it. If you thought I wasn’t, you know.”

“You can say it, Baby.”

Louis took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “If you thought I wasn’t– gay.”

Jay stroked his cheek gently. “That was what worried me. I didn’t know you were interested in him and I was worried he would get hurt.”

“You were worried about Harry?”

“Of course I worry about Harry! He’s your best friend. I was scared he would end up hurt or that his feelings might affect your friendship. Or that people might talk and you would feel you had to pull away from him. I was just worried.”

“Even if I didn’t like him too, I would never let things people say come between us, he’s my best friend and I’m not a total twat..”

“Language, but good, I’m glad to hear it.” Jay patted the seat next to her. “Now, how do you plan to tell him?”

“To be honest, I have no idea.” Louis dropped heavily into the seat next to his mum.

“Will this cause you trouble with the show.”

“Well, not really.” He then told them Hannah’s plan.

“So she’s going to pretend to still be your girlfriend so you and Harry can be together without anyone knowing?” Jay asked obviously shocked.

“Yeah. I tried to talk her out of it, I really did, but she’s so stubborn.”

“And a really good friend.”

“The best.” Louis looked at his feet. “I guess I don’t get why she’s doing this for me. I hurt her so bad.”

“Lou, we don’t get to chose who we love. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Jay said softly.

“But I knew!”

“Knew what, Baby?”

“I knew I didn’t really like girls like that! I mean I like Hannah, she’s amazing and cute and all that but I just, I knew that I never really was– interested, you know.” He sniffed alerting his mum, who moved closer and took his hands. “I was so scared everyone would hate me. I couldn’t tell anyone, so I just dated girls like everyone else did.”

“Oh, Baby, I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone. Why didn’t you tell us.”

Louis shrugged. “I guess I thought if I didn’t say anything then it wasn’t really true.”

Jay once again pulled him into her arms and rocked him gently. “You never have to hide from us. Exactly who you are is who we need you to be. Who you love has no bearing on how much we love you.” She brushed a tear from his cheek. “Do you understand how much we love you?”

“I love you too, Mum, so much.” He squeezed her tight.

Louis ate with his whole family for the first time in what seemed like forever. The noise and craziness of all seven of them at the table was exactly what he needed.

 

Louis looked around his bedroom, he had just finished family movie night and was getting ready for bed. He had grown up in this room, his football trophies lined the window sill, his favourite band posters covered the walls, he smiled softly when he spotted the Script poster, everything was so familiar. Yet it seemed distant somehow, like he hadn’t seen it in years and didn’t really belong there anymore. He curled up on his bed and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his messages until he came to Harry’s name. He listened to all twenty-six of the messages. They were all variations on a theme, Harry begging Louis to call him, sounding terrified that something had happened. In some it was clear he was crying. Louis felt like a total shit. He hadn’t meant to make Harry cry, hadn’t meant to hurt him, but it was clear he had. 

All most people saw when they looked at Harry was a pretty face, a cheeky grin and dimples, but there was so much more. He had more people smarts than anyone Louis had ever met. Even as young as he was, Harry got people, it was why everyone was drawn to him. They called it charm, but mostly he was just sweet and nice to people. He had a way of making you feel like whatever you were saying was the most interesting thing he had ever heard. He was funny and interesting and really good at being a friend. He was a cheeky brat, yes, but he had a really good, kind heart and Louis had hurt him.

He set his phone on the beside table and punched his pillow, tomorrow was going to be a really long day. He was sure to get called in as soon as he set foot back in London. All he hoped was they wouldn’t kick him out of the band. He knew he would have the support of most of the boys, Liam was most likely going to throw a shit fit at him but it wouldn’t be the first time for that, Liam was always throwing shit fits about something, dude was wound way too tight. Niall and Zayn would give him hell but get over it.

Louis knew Harry had already forgiven him, he had said as much on the phone. That was something at least, but he had still hurt him and he still had to tell him how he felt about him. Despite reassurances from Hannah and his Mum, he still wasn’t sure how Harry would react, but he was hopeful. Louis’ last thought before he fell asleep was that tomorrow he might actually, finally get to kiss Harry Styles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta, Daysundercover


	5. Back to Base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis returns to face the consequences of his trip home.

The next morning Louis was up with the sun. He hurriedly got ready and met his parents in the kitchen. “You got everything, baby?” Jay asked, handing him a travel mug full of hot tea.

“Yeah, Mum, I’m good,” he bent to give her a hug and a kiss, “thanks for this,” he said raising the mug. “And thanks for everything else too.”

“Of course. Are you sure you don’t want something to eat, it wouldn’t take a minute-“

“I’m good, tea’s fine.” He gave her another kiss on the cheek and grabbed his coat. “I don’t wanna make Dad late.” He shrugged into his jacket. “Love you.”

Jay fixed his collar and smoothed the front of his coat. “I love you too, baby. You make sure to call me to let me know what’s going on. Both with the show and with Harry.”

Louis smiled shakily, “Yeah.”

“Just be honest with him, Lou. Its all you can do.”

“I know.”

“You ready to go, Son?” Mark asked from the door.

“Yeah, Dad, I’m ready.” Louis gave his mum one last hug and kiss and followed his dad out the door. 

The car was silent for most of the trip to the station. When Mark pulled to a stop at a light he turned to Louis. “Are you sure you don’t want one of us to come back with you?”

“Absolutely certain.” Louis stated emphatically. “I don’t need you guys to fight my battles for me.”

“Well, I wasn’t so much thinking battle fighting, more along the lines of moral support.” The light changed and Mark turned back to the road.

“Thanks, Dad, but it’ll be okay.” 

“As long as you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, just don’t forget we are only a phone call away.”

“Thanks, I know.” Louis turned in his seat so he was facing his father. “Is everything okay with you and Mum?”

“What?” Mark looked startled. “Of course, everything’s fine.” 

“Dad, you slept on the sofa last night.” Louis said softly.

Mark sighed. “It’s nothing you have to worry about, okay? Every couple has times when things can get a little rough. You just worry about you. There’s enough on your plate with the show and Harry and everything that goes along with them. You take care of yourself and let your Mum and I worry about us.” He reached over and patted Louis knee. “Okay?”

Louis was hesitant but nodded. “Okay.”

At the station Mark got out of the car to give Louis a hug good-bye. “Call your mum when you get there.”

Louis nodded, “I will.”

“Have a safe trip, and stop worrying, things will work out.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Louis hugged his father, then turned to head into the station.

The two hour trip gave him far to much time to ramble around in his own head. Consequently by the time he reached London he was an absolute bundle of nerves. He had called en route to tell them what time he would be in and there was a car waiting for him with a very unhappy producer in the back seat.

“Get in.”

Louis heaved a great sigh and slipped into the back with the producer, Louis thought his name was David. “I–“

“Don’t say anything.” David snapped. “We are all going to have a very long talk when we get to the studios, but for now just keep quiet.”

Louis slumped back into his seat. He pulled out his phone intending to give Harry a call to let him know he was almost there when David snatched it out of his hand. “Oi!” 

“Quiet! You can have it back after the meeting.”

“That’s my phone, you have no right–”

“You are on really thin ice here, Louis, I would stop talking now if I was you.”

Once again Louis flopped back into his seat, a petulant scowl on his face.

Louis was disappointed when they pulled up in front of the studio. “Aren’t we going to the house first? I’d like to change.” 

“What you want isn’t high on the priority list right now.” David pointed to the door. “Go.”

“David-“

“My name is Andrew!” Apparently not David snarled. “Now get in there!”

Louis sighed and headed to the door. He was surprised to see all the boys waiting for him. 

“Louis!” Harry yelled when he spotted him. 

Louis had only a few seconds to prepare himself before Harry tackled him.

“Oomph!” He returned Harry’s enthusiastic hug. “Hey, H.”

Harry pulled back. “I should be mad at you, but right now I’m just so glad you’re back and okay.”

Louis smiled at him. “I’m happy to be back.” He turned to the other boys. “Hey.”

Niall hugged him. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah.”

Liam just said. “You’re in really big trouble, they’re pretty angry. You could have screwed everything up for the rest of us”

Louis just rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I got that.”

When Zayn hugged him he whispered in Louis’ ear. “You ever make Harry cry like that again, I’ll beat the shit out of you, yeah?”

Louis met Zayn’s eyes, “Yeah.”

“Let’s go, Louis, they’re waiting.” Not David said impatiently.

“Fine, I’m coming.” To the boys he said. “I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

They all nodded and started to leave. “Harry?” Louis called out.

The other boy turned back. “Yeah, Lou.”

Louis swallowed, his throat suddenly tight. “Can we talk later?”

“Of course, I’ll see you at rehearsal.” 

Louis took a deep fortifying breath. “No, I mean can we talk, just you and me? Alone.”

Harry walked back over to where Louis was standing and searched his face trying to see what Louis was attempting to say. Whatever he saw there brought a bright smile to his face, dimples flashing he said, “Yeah, Lou, I think a talk, just the two of us would be really great.” 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta, Daysundecover
> 
> There is a sequel in the works.


End file.
